Bruce Delamitri - makes movies. Hip, sexy, postmodern and above all else ironic. When somebody gets shot in one his movies you can bet it will be witty, stylish and backed by a great rock soundtrack.

Wayne and Scout - watch movies. Ordinary Americans, Bruce’s latest oscar winner, is Wayne’s all time favourite. He’s seen it many times and only shot the popcorn seller once. Wayne and Scout are the so-called Mall Murderers, serial killers, who actually kill people. For real.

Brooke Daniels - wants to be in movies. She’s a model, ‘Miss February’, who desperately wants to be an actress. She can turn Bruce on, and then scare the pants off him, but just how far will she go to get what she wants?

Farah Delamitri - couldn’t care less about movies. She is more interested in making sure that she gets her fifty percent of everything that Bruce owns, before there is a public backlash against violence in general, and Bruce’s movies in particular. OK, so she’s an alcoholic, but its not her fault, OK?

Velvet Delamitri - is ambivalent about movies. She lives somewhere out there on planet Teen, and although it is cool to have a famous Dad, she thinks his movies are like, really gross, y’ know?

Karl - produces movies. He is loud mouthed, obnoxious, but he knows money and he knows which clips from Ordinary Americans that the academy are, shall we say, unlikely to show on network TV.

Kirsten and Bill - are an outside broadcasting unit who are there to record what happens. They just didn’t realise they’d have to do it in their underwear.

So, take these nine characters, subject them to extreme heat and pressure, and guess what happens? They explode.

The acting ages of the characters are as follows – it doesn’t mean the person who plays them has to be the exact age, but they have to be able to act and look the ages.

Specifics per character

Bruce – spends a great deal of Act 1 with his trousers around his ankles

Wayne & Scout – need to be very physical with each other and others for this

Velvet – has top ripped open by Wayne and shoulders revealed. If anyone under 16 is going for part of Velvet their parents must read the play and sign a consent form BEFORE auditions

Karl – needs to be shot and fall on stage

Kirsten & Bill – appear only in their underwear